The Force, The Universe, God, Goddess… whatever that Source of power, belief or faith you have is what I’m talking about here.
It’s that piece of us we always get to come home to. The place where we belong and generate a beacon that attracts others we can belong with.
But transformation doesn’t just happen. Like any story it needs the catalyzing power of an inciting incident from which we begin our journey…
We experience countless catalysts in life—some we heed and some (ok maybe many) we run away from.
But there’s often one—likely the one you’re thinking about right now— that is the ONE that got you to get up off the proverbial bathroom floor and seek the tools to change your reality.
My ONE came in a moment where I became aware enough to recognize that I was stuck in self-destructive patterns of partying and attracting guys who didn’t truly value me…
And let me tell you, that hit like all the nails on the coffin at once.
My familiar friend at the time, Despair, beckoned me to her dark depths. Oh, how the urge to sink into her, to not see what I just saw, to put the blinders back on tempted me…
But in that moment I KNEW I couldn’t. There was no going back once I saw the mess of myself clearly. It was devolve or…
EVOLVE
Being an intellectual, analytical, neurotic who at the time was suppressing so much creativity I couldn’t yet see, I needed something that was woven with my stabilizing friend, Science, to begin what I didn’t yet realize was my spiritual journey of transformation.
SUPER BRAIN by Deepak Chopra and Rudolph E. Tanzi was the book that first opened my eyes to just how much power we have to change our thinking, heal ourselves and create the reality we truly want and need.
As I read it I realized I’d been silently steered towards these kinds of teachings all my life.
A close friend told me years before about the ability we have to change our neural pathways. I’d loved the sound of this possibility but at the time I couldn’t believe that was possible for me.
I wasn't yet ready for this catalyst.
But reading Super Brain reignited what I’d ignored in a double whammy kind of effect that caused my first paradigm shift —
It came to me in 4 simple words…
What if I’m wrong?
Wrong that the world is against me, wrong that life is hard, wrong that I'm not worthy, wrong thinking that I had to continue to suffer in the prison of my own mind…
Coming from a perfectionist background with a major in a soul sucking eating disorder (more on that journey later) being wrong was something my ego just couldn’t allow until I allowed myself to really consider it.
When the bonds are bared
They break...
Into lessons of what they once were.
Being “wrong” awakened me in so many ways from the stagnant structures my shadow had created to keep me safe. It was scary, it was thrilling… it was a taste of freedom that propelled me further…
It was around this time that my childhood self peeked her head out of the cave I’d suppressed her in, reminding me of my beliefs in magick, intuition and divine feminine power I knew I had as a child… but along the way I lost to societal pressure, self-judgment, fear and that familiar despair I mentioned earlier.
I’d forgotten how empowered I used to feel as a young girl who danced in her Nana’s English garden knowing that the fairies were with me, that I could create anything I wanted… that I was perfectly imperfect just the way I am.
Let me just make a PSA here and state that just because I realized all this doesn’t mean I had the ability to action it yet. It would take me awhile to raise my frequency enough to do so but the match was lit and I was on a mission for more…
The more I found was ironically in the self-help, self-development and spiritual resources I’d once thought were silly, sad and worse... embarrassing to want or need. In reflecting now I see this resistance as the ego wrapped up in entities that wanted to keep me from my true power that it knew would be ignited through the magickal discoveries I was making.
I visualize life as a tapestry all our experiences weave together to create.
This moment of admitting I might be wrong was a huge stitch that began my emergence from the muddy waters I'd been drowning in into a lotus flower empowered with the violet flame of TRANSFORMATION...
Stay tuned for more of my journey and cultivated transformational techniques in my upcoming book... THE STORY OF TRANSFORMATION #transformation #catalyst #spiritualdevelopment #selfdevelopment #magick #intuition #remembrance #story #writing #writer #books #reading #knowledge #wisdom #bethechannel #brandoliniink
Comments